Hospice: The Lesson - Chapter 7: Journey's End
By Joan Morris
TIMES STAFF WRITER
Published Saturday, May 26, 2001, in the Contra Costa Times Newspapers.
Orginal Link Addresses:
http://www.contracostatimes.com/health/hospice/
http://www.contracostatimes.com/health/hospice/stories/dayseven_20010526.htm

SFBAPPA.ORG Award of Excellence:
Bob Larson, Contra Costa Newspapers, "The Lesson" - Corresponding Photos.

the lesson

CHAPTER VII: Journey's End

Like the rising sun, death comes quietly
Diane Sheffield dies peacefully at home as planned

By Joan Morris
TIMES STAFF WRITER

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After weeks of rain and dreary skies, March 7 dawns bright and clear. Throughout the Bay Area, people stop to turn their faces to the sun and breathe in the promise of spring.

Sometime before dawn, Diane Sheffield slips into a coma. As the golden light pours into her bedroom, Diane lies beneath the flowery comforter as if in a deep sleep.

Diane stopped eating two weeks ago, and she has now stopped taking fluids. Her internal organs are beginning to shut down, and now it is only a matter of time.

Janet Saalfeld, the hospice chaplain, fights back tears as she leans over Diane. Janet and Diane have had many long conversations about God and faith. Janet has tried to help Diane find her way to spiritual understanding.

"You've been a wonderful teacher," Janet says. "You've taught us all about how to make the journey. You've helped so many people, teaching them how to help you. You're really on your way. Godspeed, Diane. Godspeed."

Sue Stewart, Diane's hospice nurse, had been with Diane the night before when she had grown restless and began to show signs that her body was shutting down. Now, on this lovely morning, Diane lies still, her raspy breathing the only sound in the room.

Sue tells Diane's husband, Bob, and her sister, Joan Danilovich, that Diane is comfortable and pain free.

Sue has kept the promise hospice made Diane early on. She willingly tolerated a higher level of pain than most people could, but she had told Sue she feared dying in pain. It was a balancing act that hospice is accustomed to performing: controlling the pain while allowing the patient to remain alert.

Diane loves good conversation, and she hadn't wanted her journey to be made in silence. Now, as she lies in a coma, friends talk to her, telling her how much they love her, but urging her to let go of life.

Bob, who has balanced caring for Diane with the needs of his work and his family, paces in and out of her bedroom. Occasionally he strokes her hand and dips a small sponge in a cool glass of water, then brushes it over her lips to moisten them.

Diane had been surprised by what a good caretaker Bob has become. They have loved each other for more than 36 years, but Diane's illness seems to bring them closer together.

Diane prides herself on her independence, her stoicism and her ability to take care of others as well as herself. It never occurred to her that she would need Bob to become her caregiver and when he does, she is surprised at how good he is at it. He is strong, patient and comforting, and at times, Diane feels guilty for ever having doubted him.

Diane has expected to make her journey alone, but she finds much company along the way. Each person who cares for her has helped her. In some ways, Janet says, they are midwives for death. They cannot labor for Diane. They can only support her and help ease the pain, both physical and emotional.

As the sun climbs higher, Diane's breathing slows. At 11:30 a.m., with only Bob sitting beside her, Diane takes her last breath. She is just 60 years old.

The minutes that follow belong to Bob. He sits with her for a long while. Too soon, it is time to let the rest of the world back in. There are calls to make, family to notify, neighbors to tell. Their sons Daniel and Robert and Robert's wife, Cristie, arrive. They wander in and out of Diane's bedroom, sitting with her until someone from the funeral home comes.

Diane's body is in repose, a single red rose on her breast. The room is bathed in a soft, radiant light, which emphasizes the calm expression on her face.

Diane has achieved the death she wanted, Sue says. She died at home, with her husband at her side. She died a dignified, peaceful death. She had, at long last, simply gone to sleep.

Sunday, Chapter VIII: Farewells

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